Evita Song Fic 1: Don't Ask Anymore
by Svonnah-La-Fay
Summary: The first of five song fics from the movie Evita. Featuring Rachel, her life and death. RT, angst, romance, etc.


Hey, it's me again. As always, **my song fics are meant to be read along to their song**, but if you want to do it without the music, that's ok too.

This song is from the movie Evita (fabulous movie, if you haven't seen it yet), so I take no credit. There are four more coming, so keep your eyes open, k?

PS: I know the ending is a little corny and, well...kind of stupid, but it works, you know? Have fun!  
Mainly from Rachel's point of view

**

* * *

Don't Ask Anymore**

** I don't expect my love affairs to last for long…**

Battle for me was like being in love…so fast, so full up on emotion…so quick to burn out…

**Never fool myself…that my dreams will come true…**

The adrenaline rush makes me feel…powerful, strong, invincible…but I try not to forget that it won't last…it won't last…

**Being used to trouble, I anticipate it…**

Everyone ready? Jake asked.

Yeah, I growled, expecting bloody battle. We're ready…

**But all the same I hate it…wouldn't you?**

The only thing I hate…the thing I regret…is the way they look at me after we're done fighting…I always feel like a monster, or an outcast…

**So what happens now?**

_Another suitcase in another hall…_

"Tobias?" I whispered, my voice raw from being newly morphed. "I'm sorry."

But he wasn't looking at me.

**So what happens now?**

_Take your picture of another one…_

It was all right. I could forget about all my problems and everything come next battle…

**Where am I going to?**

_You'll get by, you always have before…_

Sometimes I wonder what's happening to me…then I remember I've made it this far…I'll survive a little longer…

**Where am I going to?**

But other times I just feel so lost…I wonder how it's all going to end…

**Time and time again I've said that I…don't care…**

"Rachel?"

"What?"

"Your line."

"Oh yeah," I grinned. "Let's do it!"

**That I'm immune to gloom…**

"Not Rachel," Marco laughed. "She doesn't care about that…"

**That I'm hard…through and through…**

I wanted so bad to cry at that moment, but I don't do things like that…it's weak…I'm not weak…

**But every time it matters…all my words desert me…**

"What the F Rachel!" Marco screamed at me. "What the hell did you think you were doing!"

**So anyone can hurt me…**

"Shut UP Marco!" Jake growled, closing in over his best friend.

I stayed mute…silent…

**And they do…**

Anyone would have thought I was too busy killing Marco in my mind to show emotion…they were wrong…I felt like dying, cause it was all true…

**So what happens now?**

_Another suitcase in another hall…_

I looked up at Jake.

Jake, my mind whispered.

No, he said, backing away. No…

**So what happens now?**

_Take your picture of another one…_

I looked down at Tom's body. Where do we go from here? I wondered…What happens now?

**Where am I going to?**

_You'll get by, you always have before…_

"Rachel," Tobias murmured, holding me close. "I don't know what's happening to us…to you…"

**Where am I going to?**

"You're different…you've changed…"

I hugged him tighter, not wanting it to be true, wishing I could just be a normal girl who could hold him without restraint. But I can't.

I'm a superhero. Superheroes can't fall in love. They can't risk getting hurt…

**Musical Interlude...**

But that didn't stop me from…from… 

It was after a battle. I had killed some humans. Controllers. I think…Jake was furious…I felt awful…nothing was right…

I changed my clothes, and was about to fall into bed, when the familiar flutter of a wing against my window got me up again.

Before I knew it, a mass of jumbled body parts was on my floor, and when they were done shifting, Tobias stood before me.

"Are you okay?"

"Do I look okay?" I said, holding out my arms for him to see and hoping I did.

Tobias took my open gesture as an invitation, and maybe it was…we rocked back and forth on my bed, lost in an overwhelming sea of sorrow and helplessness…and then that all changed…

Tobias held me near him like a little child, but I didn't want to be a child anymore…didn't want to be so innocent and getting hurt all the time…I brought his head down to mine and kissed him…

You know, heroes aren't supposed to fall in love. They can't risk getting hurt…I guess I'm not a hero anymore…

**(A time before, when the war was about a third of the way done) Call in three months time…and I'll be fine…I know…**

I walked home, barefoot, thinking that in a year from now, I wouldn't still feel this way…wouldn't still be shell-shocked from that horrific battle…

**(Up to present time) Well maybe not that fine…**

I fell with exhaustion into my cot, sobbing quietly into my pillow…he had almost died…I had almost died…

**But I'll survive…anyhow…**

I was up anyway the next morning, planning strategy with the rest of the gang…surviving…

**I won't recall…the names and places of each sad occasion…**

"You know what's funny?" I laughed leaning back against a tree and staring at Cassie. "I don't even remember how many battles we've been in…they're all the same…they all blend in…"

**(Back to the past) But that's no consolation…here and now…**

I knew it would have to stop eventually…that one thought kept me going…but it sure didn't help when the war was at it's worst…

**(Present) So what happens now?**

_Another suitcase in another hall…_

I demorphed to human, staring down at what I had done…

Rachel!

**So what happens now?**

_Take your picture of another one…_

I looked up to see a polar bear charging towards me…

"Oh God-"

**Where am I going to?**

_You'll get by, you always have before…_

"I love you," I whispered, and closed my eyes.

So now what? Is this where it ends?

**(Tobias) Where am I going to?**

I floated off into the sky, carrying Rachel's heavy ashes…

What now? What am I going to do? What's going to happen now?

**(Rachel) Don't ask…anymore…**

I reached out and touched Tobias as he was flying…

"Don't worry," I whispered. "I love you. You don't need to know what's going to happen. Just know that it will…it will…"


End file.
